


Plum

by Zzzara



Series: Fools [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Based On a Troye Sivan Song, Denial of Feelings, Despair, Draco Malfoy In Love, Drarry, Emotional Hurt, Feelings, Feels, Fruit, Hurt, Inner Dialogue, Love, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Oblivious Harry Potter, Overthinking, POV Draco Malfoy, POV First Person, Pining, Pining Draco Malfoy, Possibly Unrequited Love, Secret Relationship, Troye Sivan Song inspired, all Troye's songs are Drarry AF, break up thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 16:55:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17287901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zzzara/pseuds/Zzzara
Summary: Maybe our time has comeMaybe we're overgrownEven the sweetest plumHas only got so long...





	Plum

**Author's Note:**

> This little piece belongs to the 'Fools'-series, and takes place inside of the Part 1 ('Too Good'). In the early summer morning, in July 2005, Draco watches Harry asleep, having an inner breakdown whilst dwelling on their relationship and his feelings.  
> The title and the mood are inspired by Troye Sivan's song 'Plum'.
> 
> English is not my native language, and I don't have a beta, so forgive me all the mistakes.
> 
> [Disclaimer: all characters belong to J.K.Rowling, here I don't make any profit whatsoever; I write for my own entertaiment.]
> 
> Don’t repost/copy this work to any other websites without my permission.

**Plum**

_London_

_July, 2005_

_Watching you asleep_

_Run my hands through your hair and it's got me thinking_

_What you mean to me_

_There's a chill in the air and a sinking feeling_

_Coming over me_

_Like bitter tangerine_

_Like sirens in the streets_

_Oh no..._

_[Troye Sivan, 'Plum']_

You've brought plums. You said you knew I enjoyed them. And I did. Then. Before. Now - not so much.

These past few weeks added an annual ring to my soul. Anything in my mouth is ash. Maybe when all this is over and I am myself - these simple things will be able to bring simple joys again. Those I've ceased to care for somewhere along our feverish summer weeks.

Reaching into the bowl, I take a ripe fruit. Its tender skin is about to burst with sweetness, begging to be tasted, asking to be devoured. This is funny, I think, turning the fruit in my fingers - ironic how either way it will be over soon for the poor plum. Either you eat and destroy it or you don't, leaving it to rot.

You sigh in your sleep, and I glance over my shoulder. My marks on your neck are of the colour of this plum. Skin there as tender, but for me a thousand times sweeter. So sweet that sometimes I feel sick. I look away.

Maybe our time has come?

**

_Maybe our time has come_

_Maybe we're overgrown_

_Even the sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_Baby, we're barely holding-holding on_

_Even the sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_[Troye Sivan, 'Plum']_

I put the plum into the bowl.

Our stolen time: over-ripe with things you aren't allowed to have, rotten with lies of your delusions and my self-preservation. Poisoned with your obliviousness that cuts me like nothing ever does. And yet...

I am grasping at the fake hope with desperation of a drowning man, trying to shield myself with the last shreds of my dignity.

This was never meant to last, and the longer we drag it on, the worse for me it becomes. The worse I become.

Even the sweetest plum has only got so long. I should end this first, before it rots or destroys me.

I can't.

Not when you come to me willingly; not until you no longer want this. Not until you either eat me alive or throw away: ripe, unwanted, full to the brim with everything denied.

**

_Jealous you can sleep_

_You've been keeping me up, and I mouth the words_

_I think I wanna speak_

_Instead I'm wasting my time just pressing rewind_

_To all the nights we shared_

_The ripest peach or pear_

_But change is in the air..._

_[Troye Sivan, 'Plum']_

I turn to face you, jealous you can sleep. Jealous nothing ails you; nothing tears you apart. I wish it did. Fool.

I wish you felt what I feel. All of it. I am terrified of you finding out. I don't think you will. You don't care enough to look and see. I am grateful for it, I hate you for it.

The first ray of light touches your arrogant face. You squint in your sleep. I hold my breath, making a resolution: if you open your eyes now, I'm breaking up with you straight away. Few tantalising seconds pass, holding me on the precipice.

They say, when faced with two choices - toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for.

Putting your arm over your eyes, you smile in your sleep. I exhale.

I need some air. I need a cigarette to be able to breathe again.

**

_I was summer, you were spring_

_You can't change what the seasons bring_

_Yeah, I was summer, and you were spring_

_You can't change what the seasons bring_

_[Troye Sivan, 'Plum']_

Quietly closing the bedroom door, I head through the living room to the balcony.

Sunrise has fully taken its hold over the city. I light a cigarette. Wrapping the bathrobe tighter around myself against the morning chill, I take a drag, inhaling deeply, my heartbeat evens out.

I love it here - my little piece of the city skies. The place where I feel free and content. Or rather used to, sometime ago. Now, with your breath still lingering on my skin from the night before - not so much.

I remember how you came here on my birthday - to give yourself to me and deny any freedom I almost convinced myself I had. Not quite two months ago. Feels like a blink of an eye and an eternity.

From my birthday to your birthday.

Maybe our time has come?

**

_Maybe our time has come_

_Maybe we're overgrown_

_Even the sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_Baby, we're barely holding-holding on_

_Even the sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_[Troye Sivan, 'Plum']_

I imagine how it will be: when all this is over and I am myself again, belonging to no one. What a freedom. A total freedom - free fall. What a relief. To have my life to myself, to cease suffocating in the held breath, waiting for her to depart and for you to return. To look at you only from the distance again, not knowing your sleeping face in the rays of dawn anymore.

The sound of you approaching through the living room cuts into my thoughts. Though barefoot you tread lightly, I always hear your footsteps.

I don't turn my head.

"Hey." Your voice is scratchy from sleep, warm.

Looking ahead, I nod.

You come up close and closer, until I feel your breath at the back of my neck.

Now. This is now. This is over.

Taking one last drag, I send a cigarette butt flying down and exhale, gathering myself.

"These plums are good," you say into my nape, "I've brought you some."

Slowly, I turn in your arms, leaning back against the railings. Morning sun is shining at me from your eyes, turning their green golden. You are offering me a half of a plum in your fingers.

 _Maybe our time has come_? I want to say. I am trying to say. I don't want to say.

Instead, I bite into the fruit in your hand, grazing your sticky-sweet fingertips with my tongue, and smile against your lips when you kiss me.

***** The End *****

**_I am on Tumblr:[big-draco-energy](https://big-draco-energy.tumblr.com/)_ **

 

**_ [Troye Sivan, 'Plum'] _ **

_Watching you asleep_

_Run my hands through your hair and it's got me thinking_

_What you mean to me_

_There's a chill in the air and a sinking feeling_

_Coming over me_

_Like bitter tangerine_

_Like sirens in the streets_

_Oh no_

_Maybe our time has come_

_Maybe we're overgrown_

_Even the sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_Baby, we're barely holding-holding on_

_Even the sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_Jealous you can sleep_

_You've been keeping me up and I mouth the words_

_I think I wanna speak_

_Instead I'm wasting my time just pressing rewind_

_To all the nights we shared_

_The ripest peach or pear_

_But change is in the air, oh_

_Maybe our time has come_

_Maybe we're overgrown_

_Even the sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_Baby, we're barely holding-holding on_

_Even the sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_I was summer, you were spring_

_You can't change what the seasons bring_

_Yeah, I was summer, and you were spring_

_You can't change what the seasons bring_

_Maybe our time has come_

_Maybe we're overgrown_

_Even the sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_Baby, we're barely holding-holding on_

_Even the sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_Maybe we're overgrown_

_The sweetest plum_

_Got so long (Got so long)_

_The sweetest plum_

_Has only got so long_

_***_

 

**Author's Note:**

> This work belongs to the series "Fools".  
> Thank you for reading! Feel free to share your opinions with me in the comments below if you want :)  
> Tell me how you came across this fic, I'm really interested to know!


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